Panties Calendar (Missing Piece). Hand-Painted Photograph. From hand-painted series from Maternal Exile. In 2022 I started to see colours.

„One day after my life turned upside down I stayed on the crossroad deeply knowing that I am no more the person I had been. I had no more been the scientist, I had no more been the woman who found the love of her life, I had no more been myself. Staying on that crossroad being not able to do the work I had been working in for more than ten years and to live the life I had been living before I wanted to finish it all because I had lost everything I had believed in. At the same moment I said to myself, you can not give up hope and faith. You are woman. You are mother. But I was not able to speak, I was not able to do anything. With the exception of photography … So I took the camera and started to document every step of my daily life. From that day the camera has started to be my hand, my eye, my possibility to talk, my friend, my hope, my belief. I document my feelings, I document the life of the mother of two boys, I document everyday life of my family, I document everyday life of every day Prague, my home town. I document every step of to date the hardest part of my life during which I have had to fight with social phobia as a consequence of social isolation – even this is motherhood. Constantly recurring routine activities, loneliness, fatigue, exhaustion. When I have started to select photographs from the huge material I have been taking during the last five years from 2015 I was surprised myself when a mosaic of feelings began to appear in front of me – for whom the word EXILE came out almost immediately, yes this is EXILE, MATERNAL EXILE.“

The Intimate Diary. 2015 – 2021

I created this series to support other women who could underwent the similar period as me, but are afraid to tell their stories in the times of „Instagram happiness“ — to say it out loud.

I made this personal diary public to support destigmatization of severe trauma and re-traumatization circles which in some periods of life catch up everyone who went through childhood insecurely and severely traumatized.

We are all heroes of our life story.